Beyond the Surface: Character Before Chemistry
OPENING PRAYER:
Lord, open our hearts to understand Your divine design for relationships. Grant us wisdom to see beyond physical attraction and temporary desires to the lasting foundation of godly character You desire for us.
"Kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine. How pleasing is your fragrance; your name is like the spreading fragrance of scented oils."
This passage opens the Song of Solomon, where a woman expresses her deep admiration for her beloved. In ancient Middle Eastern culture, a person's name represented their character and reputation.
REFLECT:
Pastor Christian Hallberg shared how the world often tells us that physical attraction must come first in relationships - that romance starts with chemistry and hopefully everything else follows. But as we see in this passage, the woman isn't primarily focused on physical attraction. When she speaks of her beloved's "name" being like fragrant oils, she's actually celebrating his character and reputation.
This mirrors Christian’s personal story about meeting his wife. While he was initially attracted to her appearance, their 15-year relationship hasn't endured because of looks. As he showed in that photo from 2009, physical appearance changes - his hairline and jawline certainly did! But what sustains a relationship is the permanent "etching" (carasso in Greek) that God does on our character.
The message emphasized that God's design for romance is actually the opposite of our culture's approach. Instead of starting with physical attraction and hoping character develops, we should first focus on allowing God to develop our character and seek partners who demonstrate godly character through their actions and choices. This isn't about finding someone perfect, but someone who is actively allowing God to shape them.
I WILL STATEMENT:
I will be a great partner by putting Jesus first.
Maybe for you this week, you could list the character qualities you're seeking in a future spouse or trying to develop in yourself. Compare these to your "must-have" list for relationships. How much emphasis have you placed on character versus temporary attributes?
CLOSING PRAYER:
Father, help us value character over chemistry and seek to become the kind of person who would be a blessing to a future spouse. Shape our hearts according to Your will, that we might reflect Your character in all our relationships. Amen.